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  • Popescu Elena, Râmnicu Vâlcea

    “You can know the sea and the starry sky, but the secret of your soul is hard to find”  Grigorie de Nissa

      My motivation is to bring something good in my life, to understand myself better and the people around me. I’ve learned that the most important person in my life is me. “Let’s imagine a glass full of impure water and a dear person, very thirsty in the dessert. What do you do? Do you give them that filthy water or do you keep them waiting?” If the ones you love are very thirsty and you want to give them your glass of water you do them a lot more harm than if you keep them waiting a little longer for the nearest oasis. “We have to purify ourselves in order to offer our loved ones pure crystal water”. Improving the quality of our emotions means that, out of love for the others, in order to help them, we must focus totally on our own needs at first and just then can we offer gestures, attitudes and can we fulfill their needs giving them our pure and peaceful water to drink. The activation – operational definitions of psychotherapy constitute “a mutual intercession between the therapist and the patient, an intercession oriented towards the investigation and understanding of the nature of the psyche’s suffering of the last one with the purpose of healing the suffering.” (T. B. Karosu, 1980 p.33) or “a relationship of deep human caretaking and mutual trust between two people, the patient who suffers from a psychic disorder and the therapist who possesses the qualification, the aptitudes and the motivation of diminishing this suffering through conscious interactions, verbal or non-verbal” (T. J. Paolino, Jr, 1981, p.13). The paired – descriptive definitions: “represents psychotherapy as a scientific discipline meant to facilitate changes of human behavior through technical specific operations” or “as an attempt to discover meanings of human understanding through auto exploring and understanding, mediated by a psychotherapist” (H. H. Strupp, G. Blackood, 1976, p.1919). Also, “psychotherapy can be defined as a treatment procedure or as a range of treatment procedures that is mediated through a verbal exchange between the patient and the clinician… whose purpose is the amelioration and improvement of social adaption”. (H. J. Walton, 1983, p.643). The psychotherapeutic technique regards the deliberate systematized intercession with reference to a certain way of mental functioning. Psychotherapy method that includes certain techniques, is based on verbal communication in a helping relationship between the patient and the therapist with the purpose of ameliorating the symptoms and improving the social adaptation. The method imposes the therapist investigating the life problems of the patient and the origins of the difficulties in his life’s experience. Under a certain point of view psychotherapy implies a process of learning for the patient (of norms, rules, desirable behavior, ways of networking, of the capacity of testing reality and integration into reality), process which is realized through: - identification; - conditioning; - classification (insight). The definition of intelligence: “knowing to separate THE ESSENTIAL from the NON ESSENTIAL!” This is what the training course brings to me.
     
    Popescu Elena from Râmnicu Vâlcea
  • Mirabela Toma, Rm.-Valcea

    The responsibility of being present in your life

    But how do we start this thing? When do we know which is the best period to start learning and living for ourselves under the responsibility of being present in the HERE and NOW in our life? Anytime we started to become aware of this fact, I imagine as Gina says it, with her soft and warm voice capable of calming you.   We can become aware, for example, exactly when we are about to become parents, moment in which we could remember the existence of proactive education which would seem more efficient than the education through reaction which is based on punishment (even if we remember the punishment based on temporary abandon of the child/ affection indifference towards his basic needs).   It seems that proactive education (I dare say that even the non-verbal interrelation between the mother / the caretaker and the new-born child is also a form of education) could answer to the child’s needs to consolidate a good relation with his self, we are talking about the corporal self, which is explored in the non-verbal communication mother-child. Proactive education seems to be efficient for the harmonious development of the child’s personality structure, because it anticipates and tries to satisfy the elementary needs of the child, it fills the affective reservoir of the child through the constant expression of love – through warm touches, a soft voice, movements that don’t express anger, agitation or hate – and probably these answer to the child’s needs to be brought in the field of living of “HERE and NOW” (I tend to believe that the greatest pleasure of a new born child is to be present here and now in his life, through the experiences he has along with his mother – through the caress he receives and enjoys, the mother’s answer to his mumble etc.)   We can live the responsibility of being present “here and now” in our life also when we discover freedom; that freedom which means not depending on others and on life’s circumstances in order to be fulfilled, to stop putting conditions and having expectations (as one of the trainers would say “beware not to be / become a tyrant”) that should satisfy us in order to be fulfilled/ happy. Could we also find freedom in unconditional love? Why wouldn’t we love our child, for example, unconditionally?... without reminding him sometimes how disappointed we are if he doesn’t answer our requests immediately or if he doesn’t stand up to the tacit imposed standards? If he would have, for example, a locomotive handicap, would we reproach this to him? Then why would we reproach  him the small mistakes that help him learn? Why should we let him believe that he only has our love under certain conditions? Neither do we like to be loved by our life partner in a conditional way. Then why would he like to believe that he is loved according to someone else’s disposition? Is it possible that we use conditional love as a prophylactic instrument towards the shame that could be felt if we would identify with his failure? Or do we offer a greater value to the feeling of shame than to unconditional love? And if, in the end, we are capable of offering unconditional love to our child why couldn’t we offer it to the other people surrounding us? Do we remember that sometimes they also have fears and needs just like a child? Probably in the total abandon of conditions and requests we discover who and what we are for real and then, the love and wisdom that radiates from us has a freeing effect on the others as well. And this freedom can be capable of developing in us “the spiritual illumination” that can be measured though the compassion and wisdom with which we interact with the others, not only the ones who help us in the way we want it. And YES, there is no gain in feeling strangely guilty for all the good coming towards us, even when others are in suffering. If we want, for example, to abandon ourselves to the pleasure of coloring our life (even through the action of coloring a children’s book – you would like to tell me that you’ve passed that age long ago, then I would like to tell you that “old age is just a state of mind, but you are the only ones who are choosing what to do with the resources you have inside”) we can use the chance, being happy for bringing happiness in our own lives in order to shrink others’ bad time and to thank God for the understanding related to what we have and share, with generosity, our well being with those who today have so little.   With thanks to the therapist who taught me how to enjoy my road towards development.  
    Mirabela Toma from Rm.-Valcea
  • Doina Marcu, Rm.-Valcea

    Personal Development

    A special course where the feelings that I experienced and became aware of had a major role in the enrichment of my emotional scale. A different kind of personal development, an auto update in which the frontiers are extended and barriers are overcome and the inner resources are intensely used. Personal development is the equivalent of evolution, a chance to discover something about yourself, you create a sort of self freedom to put yourself under examination in a professional environment. Through certain exercises I’ve expressed my feelings, I’ve recognized and accepted them, I’ve discovered certain frustrated needs, emotions and feelings and certain unconscious defense mechanisms. Through the relaxation exercises I’ve connected to my inner rhythm and further on, to the cosmic rhythm, which brought me into a relaxation state in which I was able to experience happiness, sadness, freedom and harmony. The techniques used in the personal development were unprecedented for me and full of valuable significance.
    Doina Marcu from Rm.-Valcea
  • cristinaCalarasu Cristina, Craiova

     

    Personal development – trifle or necessity

    What do I need personal development for? What does personal development actually mean? How will I transform as a human being? Who will notice this change? These were few of the questions I was asking myself at the first course. I was aware, even then, of the fact that the power of changing all those aspects in my personal life I didn’t like anymore lies in my hands, aspects which I had identified or not in my social, family or spiritual life. “Everyone is the architect of their own future” (Appius Claudius) – we’ve been told in one of the courses. I understood this and I decided my future would be fabulous. I try to develop continuously, being open to life experiences and people around me. Everyone I came in contact with and all the things that surrounded me taught me something, even if it was not obvious in that very moment. I’ve learned that it’s important to be always open-minded and prove tolerance. It’s premature to speak about my personal development because my age does not offer me the chance to tell too many things. Consciously or not, I’ve chosen as role-models , ever since my childhood, people whom I’ve personally met and whom I lived side by side to. My personal development was very much based on the support I received from the people around me. Later on, came the work and the passion, without which you cannot do anything. I will try to write a few ideas about personal development, the way I see it now, because at the beginning of the training, this was something new for me. Because in life we define ourselves through the values we adhere to, if I were to think about the six milliards of people with whom we share the earth, the feeling of love and the need to share it stays as one of our fundamental human needs. Most of the times, we, humans, expect miraculous recipes, advice and easy and efficient steps that we should follow in order to have a fulfilled relationship. If we expect the others to permanently satisfy our need for love we will probably end up disappointed and frustrated. We have to understand that in reality it is our problem, and not the others’; the other one cannot offer us what we need. First of all because he is a different person with a different perspective than ours. We receive what we are capable of offering. When we will finally love ourselves, we will love the God that exists inside of us and we will reach a great state of balance and clarity. Only then can we love the others not for what we see in their eyes about us, but simply, freely, without expecting something in exchange, neither adoration, nor evaluation, or approval. Or, to quote Oscar Wilde: “To love one’s self is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”  
    Calarasu Cristina from Craiova
  • Dragomir Marius Laurentiu, Craiova

    Experimenting psychotherapy Dragomir Marius Laurentiu Along our life, we receive all sorts of questions. The most difficult one has always .seemed to me the question “why?”. When I was in a leading position I often used to answer frankly with “that’s the good way”, “that’s the correct way”, or simply “because that’s how I want it”. In other situations, I used to try rather a more elaborated answer, in order to impress the interlocutor. This time I find myself in a special situation: I don’t have to justify myself to no one, I don’t have anyone to impress, but simply, it is a moment in which I have a word with myself and I analyze a chapter of my existence. I’m trying to answer my great question: - why psychotherapy? - going down the timeline. Everything started more than two years and a half ago when I signed up for the psychotherapy courses organized by ARPI. At that moment I didn’t know too much about this field, other than it was something related to psychology, a field which has fascinated me ever since my adolescence and that can help you know yourself and the others better, and the image of the psychotherapist was the one pictured in American movies: a person who sits comfortably in a chair and asks you a few questions, usually the same ones: I see. And what do you think about…? I see. What kind of relationship do you have with your mother/ father? There were many courses when I would ask myself the same question: what am I doing here? It seemed to me that everything was a waste of time. I didn’t need any theoretical concepts because I had known them, some from high school, others from college, and in the field in which I was working I also used a part of psychology’s applications. And despite all this, I stayed ‘till the end. Something inside of me was telling me that there is something more to this than a theoretical part. Time will have confirmed this. The theoretical part was to be completed by the practical part and, at the same time, the process of discovering had started; a discovery which was about to pass the borders of concepts and ideas. We learn by experimenting and not anyhow, but on our own selves. I’ve experienced all sorts of different feelings: agony and ecstasy, understanding and confusion, I laughed, I cried, I got sad. I experienced almost every state that a human being can feel along their existence. I experienced and I understood, because this time I wasn’t a solo actor on the stage of life anymore, but I was accompanied by someone whose role was to help me understand what I’m doing, what’s happening inside of me, what effects my actions have upon the exterior and upon the others… I had heard many times about the responsibility of the psychotherapist towards the soul of the client, but I never understood it completely until the moment when I approached psychotherapy not with my mind, but with my soul. I understood that the responsibility of a psychotherapist is similar to that of a teacher who, in the first school years, doesn’t receive a child to teach, but rather an un-experienced soul to train, and for whose direction in life holds a great responsibility. In the same way, the psychotherapist receives the responsibility of working with a soul, this time a wounded one whom he has to help get back on his way. The psychotherapy training courses were about to teach me things which I’ve never learned before in none of the schools that I had been through up to that moment and they weren’t few. I remember the answer that I gave to my next trainer when she read my CV and asked me about this aspect: I’m also trying to figure out what I’m looking for. Probably that’s why I came here. Now I realize how much I needed to know myself. After all this time I understand the patience of that human who never gave up in helping us understand ourselves, who treated each of us according to our own needs and respected the uniqueness of each of us. Now I understand what she wanted to say with the expression: “the human soul is something very delicate and you cannot enter his life with your boots on.” Analyzing all this period of my life I realize what the psychotherapy courses have brought new in my life: they’ve helped me understand myself better and especially understand that the people have a sensitive part called soul and that, when you realize this, you can see how wonderful every being is, in its uniqueness.
    Dragomir Marius Laurentiu from Craiova
  • Lazar Simona, Rm-Valcea

    How psychotherapy influenced my life

    An essential thing that I’ve learned was to listen. Before, I admit I was a little, or maybe a little more, in love with my own voice so that I used it to capture the whole conversation. It is only now that I discovered what I’ve lost and just how much I could gain by listening to the others speak, rather than to talk myself. In one of the psychotherapy training courses I discovered there is a saying which stated that you are allowed to speak about a certain thing after 8 years, 8 months, 8 weeks, 8 days and 8 hours after you had known, practiced and studied it all this time… to say something only if it simultaneously fulfills these three conditions: when it is kind, useful and true. Then I discovered that no one can live in our place, that nobody can give you anything, and our health comes from our capacity to love and to forgive. Going to the training courses is a pleasant and constructive experience. I’ve learned to know myself better, not to repress my feelings any longer, to accept myself the way I am, with both the good parts and the bad parts. Through the diverse activities that I’ve done, I’ve learned to be patient, to listen to the others, I got close to people whom I couldn’t have met, if I hadn’t had come here. A unique experience which I recommend to everyone.
    Lazar Simona, from Rm-Valcea